Just because he pays the bills doesn't make him a good man.

I can tell you this because I've experienced it. My ex-husband paid the bills- but that's it. He was a provider ONLY financially.

He was not a leader.

He was not a husband.

He was not a father.

He was not an honest man.

He was not a loyal man.

He was not a faithful man.

He was not a loving man.

He was not a Godly man.

He provided and I was to keep my mouth shut and respect him. But I was undeserving of any kindness or respect. I was called names, made fun of, and degraded, even to others.

I am sharing this with those wives that are being abused and feel they can't get out because their husband is the bread winner. It's a tough place to be. I understand and I pray for you.

But let me tell you something important: financial provision is not love. It’s not leadership, it’s not partnership, and it’s certainly not a justification for abuse. A good man does more than pay the bills—he cherishes, respects, and values you as his equal. A good man uplifts you instead of tearing you down.

I stayed far longer than I should have because I believed the lie that financial security was enough. I thought I had no choice, that my worth was tied to his provision, and that if I left, I’d fail my family. But let me tell you something I’ve learned the hard way: you are worth so much more than that. You were created by God to be loved, valued, and protected—not mocked, humiliated, or broken.

If you’re feeling trapped because your husband is the breadwinner, I want you to know there is a way out. It might feel impossible now, but with faith, courage, and the right support, you can break free. God doesn’t want you to live in fear or pain. He didn’t design marriage to be a prison. He wants you to thrive, to feel peace, and to experience the love He intended.

Leaving isn’t easy—I know that. But staying in an abusive situation will only break you further. Pray for strength, seek help, and lean into God’s promises. Surround yourself with people who support you and take it one step at a time. You are not alone, and you deserve so much more than what you’re enduring. Trust in God’s plan for you—He will provide, even when it feels like everything is crumbling. You are His beloved daughter, and He wants you to live in freedom, joy, and dignity.